Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
