it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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