i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
