I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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