If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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