He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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