Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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