I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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