At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
