I think my vagina is haunted
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
