think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
