Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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