he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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