Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
