Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
