We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
