You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
