Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
