dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
