Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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