i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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