I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
