A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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