so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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