I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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