It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
