my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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