At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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