Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
