An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize