Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
