I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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