so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize