she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
