New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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