I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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