I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
