Can i not drive my cunt home
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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