I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
