Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
