Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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