What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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