You're my little dorito
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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