my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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