we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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