he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
