Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
