Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize