I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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