just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize