I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
