We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize