We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
