the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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