Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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