He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
