just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
