I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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