Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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