and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
