nut hugger
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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