Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
