Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
