I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize