Screwed.edu
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
