I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
