if you like me you must not know who I am
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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