Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
