Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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