Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
they're like a gay fantastic four
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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