I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
