Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
