I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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