is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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