Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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