Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
