i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize