i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
